Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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