dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
