If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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