He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
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