I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Mom said you looked used
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Bring me that man meat
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
