Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
