you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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