Don't you send me to vm
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
