I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
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