FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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