I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
