when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
