in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
