Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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