Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
