Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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