cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
