Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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