One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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