do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
