bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
