I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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