Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Sext me about skeletons
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
