I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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