JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you would pick up someone in the library
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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