Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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