That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
