So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
