every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
