do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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