Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
