i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
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