Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
