??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Randomize
