as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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