I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
