Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
