I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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