ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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