I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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