dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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