Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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