There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
