She announced her abortion via fbk
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
