Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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