I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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