If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
