Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
