haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
