Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
